I'm sorry you are suffering the consequences of the organization's shunning policies. Sadly, it destroy families. My husband's parents have been shunning him for over 35 years now. They were converts in their early thirties when my husband was five years old, and now they are in their late eighties. My husband was a full-time pioneer, bethelite and ministerial servant who faded.
During the time that our children were growing up my in-laws allowed yearly visits, but we didn't stay in their home. We had to travel over 500 miles to visit, and we stayed in a motel. My MIL used to write me and the children weekly when they were young, but my in-laws never initiated contact with my husband. I was the go between. My in-laws were never grand parents to our children. They kept their distance even though both children were active baptized witnesses.
Now that our children are grown, the "essential family business" only edict is in place. My husband calls his parents whenever there is a significant weather event to check on their well being. Neither of his parents will speak to him for more than five minutes on the telephone. There can be a major blizzard with six feet of snow, and my FIL will say he is busy and has to go. They were so hateful during our last visit, that my husband and I decided that we would not visit again. That was over five years ago. I wish for his sake that my husband would cut off all contact. They still manage to hurt him after all these years.
They shun our disfellowshipped son. They shun our daughter who went to college and lived with her husband before marriage. She is not DF'd and did not DA. I have not exchanged letters with my MIL in over two years as I just can't stand the venom and death threats (you know the ones-- you're going to die at Armageddon if you don't return to Jehovah, etc.) any longer, but two weeks ago I sent a birth notice about their new great grandson. My daughter had a beautiful baby boy. I sent them a card and photos. They have not responded.
My husband and I surmise that my FIL who is a former presiding overseer may have called my former elders and confirmed that I am no longer an active witness and have not attended meetings in over three years. The other possibility is that one of them is ill or has died. They have made it very clear that "communication is not necessary" and that "everything is all set", meaning that my husband is written out of their will (This was done decades ago. The WT will get every penny of a two million dollar estate.), and "the local brothers will handle everything". They told us this during our last visit.
The reason I'm telling you this, cognisonance, is that I'm afraid you may have to accept that things will not change significantly with your parents. Be as kind as you can for as long as you can, but please don't allow them to emotionally abuse you under the guise of love. This is not love.
It would not serve my husband's parents to learn TTATT. They are too old and set in their ways. I left the organization after 42 years in at age 52. It was exceedingly difficult for me even at that age. Sometimes acceptance is the only way through.
Wishing you all the best,
Sail Away
